Current mood:	creative
Current music:	Nageki no Mori - Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni Matsuri
Entry tags:	colloyd, horror, multi-chapter, r, romance, tales of symphonia, the devil's love song

The Devil's Love Song: Chapter Three (Tales of Symphonia)
Title: The Devil's Love Song (Chapter Three)
Author: Queenie Z
Fandom: Tales of Symphonia
Rating: R
Warnings: Lloyd/Colette, violence, gore, strong language, adult situations, multi-chapter
Spoilers: Various end-game details

Summary: Haunted by thoughts and shadows that shouldn't even exist, Lloyd discovers the secret he had always kept hidden - and the strength to fight for who he loves.

The Devil's Love Song
Chapter Three: Desire

---

Every morning he would set a flower on her gravestone. It was what he had always done since he was a child. And every morning, without fail, he would speak with her, telling her everything that was going on in his life - telling her how much he missed her. It was his daily ritual; Lloyd's way of holding on to the memory of his late mother.

"Good morning, Mom," he said, laying a pink morning glory near the headstone. "I hope you're happy, wherever you are." He smiled. "Everything's going fine with the exsphere collecting. Me and Colette have already taken care of a ton of them. I... I hope you're proud of me."

He traced his hand over his mother's name. Anna Irving - Lloyd hardly knew her, and yet, he missed her so much. "Mom, I've been thinking about you lately," he said, looking at the ground. "If there was something I could have done to save you - if there was something I could have done to bring you back, I'd..."

Suddenly, Lloyd's fingers brushed over an unfamiliar etching in the gravestone. He glanced up and was shocked to see another name - "Colette Brunel".

---

Lloyd shot up in his bed, nearly thrashing the sheets off in the process. He was still in Zelos' room - it was just a dream. Just a silly dream. But, if it was just a silly dream... why was he shaking so badly...? And that voice, that shadow from last night - what was it trying to tell him? Was that "dream" actually -

He heard a knock at the door. "Lloyd?" said the person outside, "can I come in?"

The boy was instantly relieved to hear Colette's voice. He took a deep breath to calm his shaky nerves. "Yeah... come in."

She carefully opened the door. Lloyd saw that her hands were nearly full, carrying a tray filled with pancakes, bacon, and sausage. She smiled at him.

"I brought you breakfast!" she said as she headed towards the bed. However, she lost her balance and began to wobble. Just as Lloyd was about to jump out of bed and catch her, she steadied herself, narrowly avoiding a messy outcome.

"Whew, that was close!" giggled Colette. She handed the tray to Lloyd. "Here you go!"

"Thanks," replied Lloyd before taking a bite of pancake. His eyes widened as he swallowed. "Wow, Colette, this is really good! Did you make this?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to make something special for you." She glanced down at her hands. "I noticed you were really sad yesterday... and I don't like it when you're sad." Then she smiled back at her friend. "So I made you all your favorite things for breakfast! I even put extra syrup on the pancakes!"

Lloyd just looked at her, a gentle smile of his own creeping across his face. "It's just how I like it," he said.

"Really? That's great!" She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and continued. "Just... be happy, okay? You're my best friend in the whole world. I don't want you to feel so guilty about everything."

"Colette... I..."

"Hmm?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing. ...Thanks for everything, Colette."

"No problem!" Colette headed back towards the door. "Enjoy your breakfast!"

Lloyd took another bite as he watched her leave. Once the door shut behind her, however, he became uneasy. He wanted to jump out of bed; to follow Colette, to be with her, to keep her beside him. With her, he was happy. No matter what kind of pain or guilt he held, she always seemed to make it better. But when she was gone... when he couldn't keep her by his side...

Suddenly, Lloyd swore that he saw a wave of golden hair next to the window. No, it couldn't be - she just left the room a few seconds ago! Yet, there she stood, as bright and cheerful as ever, looking wistfully out of the window.

"Colette - how did you -"

"Lloyd," she said softly, "why do you want me?"

"W-what are you talking about...?"

"Why do you want me so much?"

The question made Lloyd's stomach turn. It was true - he wanted to be with her, more than anything - but he couldn't even give her an answer. "I... I don't know."

Is it because she's beautiful?

"She... she's pretty..." That voice again... he looked around the room for anyone who could have spoken to him, but saw only shadows.

Is it because she's kind?

"She's the kindest person I know." A different voice - a more familiar one this time. Who was it? What were they trying to tell him...?

Is it because she gives you hope?

"I... maybe..." He finally recognized the voices. They were their voices. They were the voices of his friends, his family. He knew he couldn't be hearing them - it was impossible! - and yet, their questions weighed heavily on him, as if he was compelled to answer them.

Or is it because she gives you a purpose?

"A... purpose...?"

A reason to live. A reason for you to exist. You want to protect her, don’t you?

Lloyd clutched his sheets tightly. "I... of course! I’d do anything to keep her safe!"

Because protecting her makes you feel useful. Protecting her gives you satisfaction. Protecting her makes you feel appreciated and loved.

Every word they spoke seemed to dig deep into Lloyd's very core. These voices were relentlessly picking him apart, piece by piece, discovering thoughts and feelings he never even knew were there. His reality was slipping away as shadows clouded his vision and an onslaught of untapped emotions raged within him.

"I..." he said weakly, "I don't understand... Colette is the reason I live? But that's..."

You desire to protect her is what keeps you alive. The hope that you can always be with her is what allows you to go on.

He suddenly found himself laying on the bed, a familiar hand caressing his face. She was there, too - there, lying with him, her face enticingly close to his.

"Lloyd," she said, her face glowing with gentleness and affection, "you want me, don't you? You've always wanted me, right?"

"I...I...!"

"Don’t you want to hold me? Kiss me? Be together with me forever and ever?" She leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "Because you love me... right...?"

She was right. He saw it clearly now. That deep, precious secret he had kept hidden from himself for so long had finally been brought to light. He loved her. He loved everything about her. He loved her face, her smile, her unfailing love - and he wanted it all. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to see that smiling face every single day for the rest of his life. But he couldn't keep failing her. He wanted to protect her - no, he had to protect her, even if it meant loosing everything!

Lloyd took her in his arms. "Colette... please, tell me!" he pleaded. "How can I protect you? How can I save you!?"

Colette's image vanished, leaving the boy empty and helpless. As he sat up, desperately trying to find her again, he saw another vision at the foot of his bed - himself.

"You know what you must do," said the vision. "Become stronger. Fight for her, make sure no one can take her away from you." He extended his hand to Lloyd. "Because you need her."

Lloyd stared at this mirror image. He knew he was right. He understood everything now. Colette was the reason he was alive - to protect her was the reason he was born. Without her, he was nothing. He reached out and took his hand, sealing the vow he had already made in his heart.

He would do whatever it took to keep her safe. He would do whatever it took to keep her beside him. Even if it meant doing the impossible, even if it meant risking everything, he would never again fail the person he loved.

He would fight.