Current mood:	sleepy
Current music:	Kimi wo Nosete (Piano Version) - Laputa: Castle in the Sky
Entry tags:	angst, colloyd, pg, romance, tales of symphonia

Inexplicable (Tales of Symphonia)
Title: Inexplicable
Author: Queenie Z
Fandom: Tales of Symphonia
Rating: PG
Warnings: Lloyd/Colette, angst with a happy ending
Spoilers: Tower of Salvation scene

Summary: Burdened with the sorrow and regret of loosing the person dearest to him, Lloyd must find a way to deal with these inexplicable feelings of love and loss.

That evening had been a quiet one at the base of Mount Fooji, with only the sound of the crickets and the scrape of a carving knife against a block of wood interrupting the silence. There was something both calming and unnerving about such silence - the noiseless nighttime managed to lull most of the small group to sleep; for Lloyd, however, it only served to remind him of just how alone he was.

Wiping the sawdust off of his shapeless wooden creation, Lloyd frowned as he looked upon it, turning it over in his hands. He had no idea what he was trying to make, and in truth, it didn't even matter that much. He regularly carved things when he was stressed, or just wittle away at the nearest piece of wood he could find. It was never a matter of actually creating something - just using his hands was enough to keep his mind off of things, and he had desperately wanted to forget about the events of the previous week, at least for a short while, until the rest of his wood ran out.

He began to carve again, his young yet skilled hands gliding the blade across the rough edges of the oak. He soon had created a series of smooth curves, which soon turned into a head, then some hair, a nose, a mouth... after cleaning off the surface of his carving, his wrinkled brow softened and a sad expression crept across his face.

No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep his mind off of her.

Lloyd bit his lip and glanced over his shoulder. He had purposefully sat away from her in hopes of not having to see her the way she was now. But even that proved to be futile - now, after trying so hard to forget it, the ache that tugged on his heart returned as he saw the once lithe and vibrant form of Colette stare blankly into the night.

For a moment, he felt anger - anger at Remiel for taking her away from them, anger at Kratos for betraying them, even anger at himself for allowing such a horrible thing to happen to her - but one glance at Colette's empty eyes turned that anger into unbearable sadness. To think that someone so important to him could be taken away so quickly... it made him sick to think about it.

Even so, Lloyd dropped the wooden carving onto the ground and walked over to her lifeless body, reaching out to touch her hair. He had taken her for granted so many times, only to realize after she was gone just how much she meant to him. He silently prayed for a reaction - a smile, a giggle, even just a blink - that might let him know that she was still in there, somewhere. But none came.

In his disappointment, he moved his hand to her cheek. He had never gotten the chance to admire Colette like this before. The way her hair framed her round face... the way her nose turned up, almost like that of a doll... the way her lips were pursed, even when there wasn't a smile to grace them... Lloyd cursed himself for not noticing these things before, when her face was lit up and her eyes were shining with life, and for not telling her the way he felt before she could no longer listen to him.

Seeking a release for all the love, the pain, and the regret that had built up inside of him, Lloyd leaned forward, touching his lips with Colette's. It was a drive that had always been on the back of his mind, now awakened by emotions that he couldn't explain. However, once the realization that she would never remember or even acknowledge the kiss came, he quickly pulled away from her, disgusted that he had just violated her without her knowledge or permission. Tears welled in his eyes as he took a step back from the angel.

"I'm sorry."

He quickly turned away and ran into the woods.

---

Days passed since that night, but only hours since the restoration of Colette's soul. That evening was filled with joy and laughter, as Genis had prepared a large serving of her favorite meal to celebrate the return of her senses. She spent hours around the campfire, talking with her dearest friends more than ever before and enjoying every moment of the humanity that she had nearly lost forever.

Lloyd had been overjoyed to see the life return to her eyes and her smile reappear on her face. He was eternally grateful for the chance to see her true beauty again and to appreciate everything about her that he had once taken for granted. However, he could not help but have his thoughts drift back to that night. His stomach turned. How could he face her after so selfishly taking advantage of her? She had no memory of it. Of course, she deserved better than that...

"Lloyd?"

He started as he looked up to see Colette hovering over him.

"Colette... what are you doing all the way over here?"

However, she didn't answer. With a smile on her lips and a blush on her cheeks, she lowered herself to her knees and kissed him, her hand gently cupping his face. When she stopped, Lloyd widened his eyes and turned a brilliant red.

"C-Colette... you -"

"I'm sorry," she said, embarrassed, "that I couldn't kiss you back that night."

Lloyd attempted to speak, but words failed him. Instead, he embraced her, tighter than he had ever held her before, trying his best to hide the emotion in his face.

"You dork," he finally said to her, a tear finally escaping his eye and onto her shoulder.